Monday, May 31, 2010

The Path of Pain

I understand the pain
How it takes over
How it seeps and oozes
Winding its way through
Every thought, every breath
Every limb, ever hair ~

It envelopes the light
Creating darkness
Not evening allowing shadows
It searches every crevice
Leaving no cell uninfected
On the journey of
Searching for hope

Once hope is located
It is engulfed and covered
Demanding to be hidden
Overpowering hope
Smothering it
Send it away
T o a place unreachable
Where no one is invited

Saturday, May 29, 2010

What about us?

I sit here staring a screen that’s blank
thinking and wondering what is next to say
bumps and hurdles thrown along the way
gives us head ache and heart ache for the ones that we love

my heart wonders what about us?
my head stumbles and asks is it too much?
it is too scary, too raw, too fresh
to find refuge with each other?

Has so much happened
That it can’t be undone?
Or do we sit and speak
The truth of our hearts
Until it is all out
and build again?

Can hope and love outweigh
The fear and pain?

Wednesday, May 19, 2010


If not me, then who?

WHO to trust?
who TO trust?
who to TRUST?
especially when you don't trust yourself?
Everything builds up and towers
creating this thing full of pain
buried deep within my chest
creating days of shortness of breath
and days of struggling to hang on to hope
Boxing myself in a corner
keeping everyone beyond arm's length
no one is in site and the road is cold and heavy
I keep myself guarded
refusing to allow me
to be used against myself.
It has been experienced
that when I open up and become vulnerable
the other shoe drops...whatever it is
gets thrown back in my face with much sharper edges
leaving me bleeding and raw.

So again I ask...
If I don't trust me to open up?
Who can I trust?
Opening my eyes
Looking ahead –
A hazy gray mist
Hides what comes next
Looking back on to see
A path already traveled
Full of scorched soot
With occasional bright points
A blue lily when deep love was found
A few thorny roses showing love lost
More flowers as happiness prevailed
And there is a plant...two in fact…
Slowing growing, blooming
Moving towards the light
Turning, yearning into something
Tall sturdy and strong
Turning back to the mist
Can I handle moving ahead?
Can I forge a path of inspiration?
Will it be looked back upon as scorched?
Can I do this?
Is there any hope left?

Monday, May 10, 2010

Rumbles


Where are the words to convey?
The feeling deep within my should
Why do they fail me now?
How to describe the rapid beat of my heart…
the pain that radiates through my lungs and chest?
What about the spinning of the thoughts
That I can’t begin to formulate words to?
How do I explain how it feels
When you sit and worry about others’ in their “bad place”
Even though I am right in front of you?
What about my storm?
Won’t someone take a moment or two
to help calm a rumbling earthquake?
Put a warm soft hand over a quivering heart?
A soothing voice to say
“Be still troubled soul, I have your words
”

Saturday, August 18, 2007

One Sided?


Is the light that shines in your eyes so bright

Actually just show the reflection of my own?

Can the beating of my heart possibly

echo so loud in my ears that I think it's yours?

How about the war feeling from remembered times~

Is this my mind decieving my heart and playin tricks?

Many moments pass through out the day

moments to which your name whispers through my heart

times when a smile appears from something remembered

durations of doubt that wander through my mind.

Is it possible...

that the INTENSITY of this love

is simply one sided?

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Rollercoaster of emotion
Turn me inside out
Extreme highs, unreachable lows
Twisting curving turning jerking
Racing along at a breathtaking speed
When will it stop?
When will I be seen for me
To be looked in the eye
Cheek softly caressed
And adored without condition?
I have been a fool
to think it was the littlest bit possible-
for you to love me a sliver
of the amount in which I love you.
WHAT was I thinking??
When will it stop?
Where it the switch
so I can no longer love you lots?

Saturday, July 28, 2007

The Unspoken

My life was a mere blur until you gave me the courage & strength to open my eyes
Life was full of confusion and questions that couldn't be answered by me at the time
To have the feeling of falling without an end in sight
I was falling until you put your hands out and caught me
When I came to an abrupt halt
There you were
Your soul spoke to mine & said to be quiet and just listen
To listen
I couldn't hear it
What was it that I couldn't hear
And you could????
You said to open my eyes and look
You said to shut my mouth and listen
You said there's your answer
The courage & strength had been there all along
The confusion subsided
My life was a blur because I FORGOT to stop
what I was doing which was picking up the bottle
The sound was my heart beating for my daughters
I needed to be quiet & breath
The answer came to me in the form of your unconditional love & friendship
When words fail to get the point across
The SOUL doesn't (bw.1)
She runs fast and hard away from the one who sees.
She leaves sharp edges on her trial cause the one to bleed.
Do I scare her with my open heart and with what I see?
Does she not see the beauty from within herself?
Why does she close herself off and turn from the one
Who is willing to help, to listen, to laugh?
What stops her from allowing me to walk beside her
To hold out a hand when she falls behind
To put up a road block when she needs to relax?
I go on with my life knowing that she will always
Run from me.
I go on hoping and wishing my friend the best from life. (cl.2)
As she's running she does fall
She's running from her demons
The dark consumes her as she's going down in slow motion
The demons live in the dark
And the dark never stops chasing her
If she could only realize that behind the darkness lies the light
But instead she's so used to running
that she gets lost in that darkness

This has been her reality for such a long time
She becomes tired
That's the point where she does the falling until she comes to an abrupt halt
She falls back into your arms She fears her short comings, NOT you
She realizes NOW that you emerged from the darkness and brought forth the light
You might not see it, but she follows you like her guiding light
I'll stumble sometimes, but NEVER fall again
because you're teaching me to not be afraid of the dark(bw.3)
In every dark, there is a small light
In every fear, there is a courage
In every eye there is a tear
In every heart there is a form of love
She doesn’t feel herself guiding her
She doesn’t feel herself hold her up
She feels air all around,
She feels helpless as the tears fall silently and invisible
She wishes to know her…her soul, her heart…
not her mask or what she makes herself to be
She wants to show her that not everyone judges
She looks but doesn’t see her
She listens but doesn’t hear her
She wishes..for two wishes…one for her life and one for her soul (cl.4)
She forms tears reading the words
A nerve struck with realization of deep and unspoken thoughts
Words both from light and dark
Creating messages that only both understand
Sending them subliminally, both come to realize,
Their words together create a beauty
beyond words and imagination(bw.cl.5)
The light savors the memories
Where as the dark holds on to fears
The light knows good things happen
The dark fears the light
The light envelopes the dark
Creating shadows and a way for the dark to escape
the light gives the chance for the dark to see herself in the mirror
but she turns away from what she sees. (cl.6)

Writing by BW and myself